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MattTheParanoidKat
The Tetsuya Naito of Newgrounds

Age 34, Male

Being ingobernable

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Vancouver, BC, Canada

Joined on 11/21/03

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My Awesome Dreams/FUCKING UPDATED THIS SHITTY BLOG!!

Posted by MattTheParanoidKat - February 14th, 2008


Hello NewFags! I have actually updated this damn blog. Last time I did one of these was in August. The following things happened to me during that time.

1. School started up
2. Bought Kingdom Hearts, and beat it (awesome game)
3. Did Lord of the Flies... boring book, but piss easy marks.
4. Christmas, got lots of stuff, mostly clothes. Plus Kingdom Hearts 2, and Heroes complete 1st season.
5. Practically beat KH2, but basically backtracked so I could get 100% and complete Jiminy's Journal. Still on it.
6. Started playing Final Fantasy X (amazing game, too bad the sequel was lame.)
7. My computer's CD Drive was replaced, but got all FUBARed, now the firewall won't work, and the removable D Drive won't work, so I returned to my windows 98 computer. It got a RAM update so it won't fail automatically.
8. Bought a cheap as fuck used Gameboy Advance with a light and an adaptor, and got FFV for it.
9. Started posting this shit.

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Like the title says, I'm going to share some rather humourous and awesome dreams that happened during the months of August to Now. I am amazed that I remembered these after all that time, since dreams don't take long to forget, but I can vaguely remember these three dreams well enough to tell you them.

~The Chun-Li Guro Dream~ Occurrence: Last Week.

How this particular dream resonated from was possibly from me browsing Rule34 for Chun-Li /H/ and seeing lulzy Guro pics. But this is how it went.

It started out with a clip of what seemed to be a hentai movie with somewhat amazing plot and dialogue. With me scrolling through the clip to the part were Chun-Li is getting raped/fucked. I kept doing this for a while in an attempt to masturbate to it. Then I finally gave up on this idiot strategy and waited for the part to come up on it's own. But then a different anime clip came up. The art looked in style of Hokuto no Ken, but the story seemed to be that of Saint Seiya. Which was weird, then my mother came out to get ready for worked said to me "Is this Pokemon?" and I informed her it was "Knights of the Zodiac" then she took off for work, and I decided to find the hentai part. I found the part, but it was a different clip. It was Chun-Li and had a kid in what appeared to be her apartment. The kid was apparently adopted, and this is where the dream gets fun, in this clip, I see a mysterious person coming behind Chun-Li while she's doing the dishes and this person grabs Chun-Li's hand rams it into the garberator, rips off her qipao, and starts stabbing her, and raping her. All the while the kid is crying, and screaming as he watching Chun-Li getting fucked in newly created orifices. I then woke up as soon as the sadomasochistic rapist cums into her bleeding slit throat. I clearly had a hard-on after this dream. I guess I really am fucked up.

~The Dirty Cunt Dream~ Occurrence: Sometime in October, possibly Halloween.

Now, I remember getting home from school, and was just totally exhausted. This is relevant because that's where the dream takes place. This dream started at the middle of the parking lot at my school. Where I am standing, and this girl I know in real life, who we'll refer to as SomewhatCuteEmoSlut, (or SCES.) Now the first thing this girl does is come up to me and asks if I want my dick slut... Now, I don't think I need to answer this one for YOU, so basically, she I take her to my Dad's van, which is humourously enough in the parking lot, with my Dad in the van. This is what I would like to call "dream-foreshadowing." The van, and this whole dream itself is basically a setup for a different story. Weird that my brain can function this way. Anyway, I take SCES to the van, my Dad takes this as his cue to get out, and he takes off into nowhere, which makes the dream more bizarre. I get in the van, and just seconds before I can get my pants down for SCES to perform the fellatio on me, the MotherHen magically appears, and explains to SCES that I am just using her for sexual purposes. NO SHIT SHERLOCK! GOD DAMN! HOW BAD AM I WITH WOMEN THAT MY OWN DREAM COCKBLOCKS ME! FUCK, I NEED TO LEARN LUCID DREAMING TO PREVENT THIS SHIT, OR ATLEAST CREATE SOME WINGMEN! Ugh, luckily, I am a devilish bastard, and manipulate SCES into a compromise, that I'll do her first; as in perform cunnilingus on her. This somehow makes the MotherHen back off, andthen I begin licking her cunt.... her dirty, undouched cunt. This apparently left a bitter taste in my mouth, and the Van starts driving itself. A lolwtf? moment if I do say so myself. So, I regrettibly keep licking her nasty cunt, and she seems to love it. During this process SCES starts giving me a handjob, whilst I'm still licking her cunt. The MotherHen just watches, which is fucking hysterical, since she's the portrayal of ewvery stereotypical Mother Hen. Ugly, fat, bad personality/hygiene, etc. SCES cums, and then I start jizzing on her glasses. The van stops in the same fucking place where it started, and my dad come back to bring me to the next part of the dream.... which is unimportant, but I'll tell you guys if you really want to hear it. But before Dad takes me to that portion, SCES and the MotherHen get out. Jizz on her glasses and all. THEN the dream moves on...

How that dream probably came about was me reading a fuckload of Tucker Max stories, and finding them awesome beyond any and all extent. But yeah, that conclude the dream.

~The Gay Naruto Dream~ Occurrence: Sometime in August.

As many of you know, I am a fan of various anime, but this dream truly marked the beginning of my otakuism and possibly my insanely awesome dreams. But of all the dreams, this is the funniest, and the most climactic of them all, since this dream was like GuroChan on crack. Basically, I am rather vague on how it all went about, but it seemed to be me running around various places trying do do something involving the anime Fushigi Yugi,and everyonce in a while Naruto would come out of fucking nowhere, and challenge me to a battle using the gayest voice ever imagined. It sounded like Richard Cox's voice from Kuno's Pervert Adventures. It was that hysterical. Because his voice was too humourous, I just walked away. But then he says "Wait, I didn't catch your name. What is it?" I simply retorted with "You aren't deserving of it." He then said "I'm going to call you Bazuelle." I just said "You're creeping me the fuck out." I then left. I then found myself in some sort of pod room, and I was confused by this. Then I saw a person who looked like Cardinal Ravenwood from Metalocalypse, only in a hospital gown just idly walking towards me. I decide that he is creepy, and beat his ass and eventually stabbing him. Then pushing him into a cryogenic pod. This is just funny as fuck, after I did this, Gary (Gendo) came up to me and said to me "Nice going dumbass, he was going to help you meet the chick from Fushigi Yugi: Genbu Kaiden." I was just all "D: ARE YOU SERIOUS? DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!" Gary just said, "Well you've fucked up, I'm out of here." I then got on my knees, and held out my arms with a straight "what the fuck?" expression on my face. When Gary left Naruto came to me and I said to him "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" To which he said to me; in the gayest voice possible: "Um... Bazuelle, I think I love you." I was just shocked. and said to myself "Why the fuck is this shit happening to me?" but, that was immedietly interrupted by Naruto screaming: "IM CHARGING MY LAZERZ!!!!"

I woke up convulsing with laughter. It was so fucked up, it was hysterical. Well, that is all outta me, hope you enjoyed reading my fucked up dreams, I sure as hell had plenty of fun writing, and remembering these fucking dreams. You'll hear more once I get another fantastic dream.

Thanks negroes :D


Comments

I'm turned on.

Need to read more Tucker Max to get even MOAR turned on. :D

Oh, you beautiful faggot, you.

You're a crazy son of a bitch you know that?

I, personally, still liked FFX-2.

It had a nice, fast-paced battle system.

Though the fact that it was quite lazy, felt like it was just trying to cater to lusting teenage boys (I liked their old costumes better, myself), and that the story didn't make total sense held it back some.

Lol that last one was hilarious

I too have really stupid dreams because of that.

When I say that, I mean my subconscious is fucking with me.

lol.......wut?